grr.

so here she sits all lonely as she finds herself quite often into tiny little broken pieces as she longs for more human company beside her. she feels soo numb almost as numb as she feels when she slides that pocket razor down her flawlessed wrists.. putting lasting marks in that beautiful smooth skin forever but she doent care , she just wants to fill a hole.. a black dark hole that seems 2 have blackened her soul and her mind for about 3 or 4 years now... the pressure.. the pain.. the hurt.. the past , oh the horrifying past. she goes crazy .. she goes soo nuts in that lil pretty head of hers.. she screams but only to be answered with complete silence as she alone and isolated. her friend calls her but only when they want something from her.. she tries soo hard to be happy but it never lasts that long. as she sits in class she holds back tears as al surround her and she sits all alone , everyday..  at noon.. well lets not go there... she holds such a dark secret.. only fewe know... she just wants to be loved , to be trully loved for who she is..  to be held in strong , caring arms and whispers of 'i love you' in her ears... a firm pair of hands to hold onto as to feel a little less lonely in this big , cruel world.. she once had love but could not keep it for she never loved herself and struggled violently with herself being her own worst enemy.. she never really tried that hard at anything for fear of doing something good and for commintment.. she just never believed she was anything.,. she felt soo less.. like she was only half of who she is  when really the beautiful .. her words spoken to me soo kind and gentle .. her black long hair gently reaching a little past her shoulders.. she has this grace i cannot explain.. when she happens to look up sometimes as she usually puts her head down to the ground to avoid human eye contact.. something goes off in me.. i wanna hold her .. i wanna tell her she doent have 2 hide herself anymore.. i wann a tell her she is beautiful inside and outside,.. that she is not alone in this world.............. but i cant  , no thats rigth.. i cannot tell her those things.. i cant because she is just a image in my mind.